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Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.It’s easy to gauge this reality on the website Candle for Love (CFL), devoted to helping US Americans bring their loved ones over from China.
Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits.
With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!
In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. MORE: 5 Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t) In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.
I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.
Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent.And if they are to leave China to go to her country, they will face even more obstacles to earning money — language, culture, prejudices.Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different. Recently the subject of guys and breakups came up and Sabrina and I went back and forth about what guys generally go through when they breakup.Of course, some of it has its roots in the usual stereotypes — stereotypes in the Western World.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating